Q

Anonymous asked:

you ever gonna grow your hair back out?

A

Yeah, probably. I said I would commit to this for a full year, which has not elapsed yet. But then there is the difficulty of the transition from “no hair” to “a respectable amount of hair,” known in most circles as the “Brazillian Dilemma.” I don’t yet have a strategy in place for getting through that.

At the gas station

  • Guy lighting a cigarette next to gas pump: Sorry, our credit card machine isn't working
  • Me: I don't know if I believe that you work here

Translation: this car was involved in a vehicular homicide

Q

Anonymous asked:

how come you unlisted the sunday shout out videos?

A

I don’t like being reminded how hard they bombed! When I do something relatively earnest that falls on its face, my instinct is to stomp on it until it breaks and then run far, far away. So be glad that unlisting them was all I did!

(This is not me asking for a round of compliments on those videos, btw, although compliments are fine, who doesn’t like compliments? But I am at peace with the dire lack of success on those videos. It’s going to take 200 more episodes of No Church In The Wild to repair the damage they did, though.)

Q

Anonymous asked:

The bit on Weekend Update with new member Pete Davidson (he killed!) kinda reminded me of you and your stuff? idk. It was probably my favorite part of the episode and I just thought it was very good.

A

I do not really see the similarity, but am flattered by the comparison all the same because clearly Pete Davidson is going to be gigantic. I am also very optimistic/excited about Michael Che on WU. The episode overall was kinda weak (and borderline plaigaristic) but if we get a mega-long Update every time and Davidson and Leslie Jones just get to talk at us, I think it will be a good year.

Fun fact: the cake was not supposed to be solid green. There was a miscommunication with the cake maker. He was very old.

I should stop tweeting for the rest of the year after this

Q

Anonymous asked:

Do you actually purchase music/movies/media/etc much anymore what with the rise of all the streaming services and what not available?

A

Yes, but I am very scattershot about it; I’m stuck between generations and my purchasing habits reflect it! It all kind of horrifies me, to be honest.

I occasionally still buy movies, usually when I have concluded they will never turn up on Netflix. This is stupid because 1. I literally do not own any devices currently capable of playing DVDs and 2. they always turn up on Netflix a week later (Silver Linings Playbook being the latest example). I should stop, but won’t.

I also still buy physical copies of albums by artists that I feel particularly emotionally connected to (Conor Oberst, Taylor Swift) in part because of duty and in part I assume that someday this will all come crashing down and then I will at least have that unopened copy of Upside Down Mountain to listen to.

I’m conflicted about all of it, though. I’d like to support my favorite artists with my money but 1. I don’t have much of it and 2. I’m not sure what the best way is, anymore. These days, doesn’t “being understanding when they sell a song to Volvo” technically more helpful than buying an album?

Other questions present themselves: Should I really trust that I will always have access to songs and movies that I like online forever? Eternal Sunshine isn’t on Netflix anymore. Will There Will Be Blood vanish before I watch it again? Should I buy digital copies? My computer is old and the hard drive is always full. Is my computer dying?It’s four years old. Is that old? Also, what is torrenting? Should I learn it? Is torrenting bad?

Talking about this stresses me out.

How To Have A Band

I think the last time I told you all what your high school band should look like, I was pushing the idea that you should all be playing guitars and yelling. I mean, a drummer and a bassist too. But nothing beyond those fundamentals. Probably only three people, or four. A lot of bands were making very exciting sounds with that stuff, and You Could Too.

But I feel differently now. If you have a band in high school, you should have at least nine members. Probably more. Various representatives of various genders, preferably. You should not have a drummer. Have a computer do that. But someone should play maracas IRL. Lots of keyboards. Mostly keyboards. If someone plays guitar, they should only vaguely know how it works. You should have at least three singers, but maybe one person is just singing into someone’s voicemail. Someone in the band should just livetweet. Basically, your band should be like robots having sex. And it should be overwhelming. I want you to go to a Battle Of The Bands where all the judges are 40something guys who teach guitar lessons and I want you to absolutely terrify them.